Mikola

 1

      “I wish someone would tell me, why I am still married to your big, fat, ugly, black ass!” My husband yelled into my face, spattering his spit on to my plate.

    “You can’t follow a simple fuckin’ recipe. How can someone with a college degree not be able to follow a simple recipe? Huh? Just tell me Mikola I want to know!” My husband Jordon said throwing his plate up against the wall barely missing my head. “This is pure garbage!”

“I’m going out and find some real food; sometimes I wonder why I married you in the first place.” I knew Jordon was just picking a fight so he could feel better about going out to do whatever it was he usually did this time of night. I didn’t say a word I just waited for him to leave. I sat scared to move, I didn’t want my least little movement to trigger him off more. I constantly found myself praying he would just leave and never come back. I watched on as he gathered his things to leave. I didn’t dare say a word. I prayed he would hurry up and get the hell out of the house. I needed sometime to myself, even if he was only gone for a few minutes, just some time to meditate and think a few things through.

      I had become immune to the verbal abuse, the name calling it all had just become an everyday occurrence. It hadn't always been this way between us. We did actually love one another years ago, but now my ten years of marriage had arrived to me and my husband despising one another. Jordon hurt me so much in the past until sometimes death felt like it was too good for him.

     I knew Jordon was cheating, and I had excused it for too many years, but when it stared me in my face and bit me in my big ass that’s what caused me to finally reach my breaking point. That forgive and forget, turn the other cheek...hell to the  naw! I prefer, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I smiled. That right there, that’s what kept my mind and heart at peace when my world seemed so troubled. Jordon would definitely get what was coming to him…sooner or later...they always do. My thoughts traveled into the past, as I watched Jordon c scrambling around trying to find something.

     "Where the hell are the car keys Mikola?" I still kept my mouth closed. He would not sucka' me into an argument.

     Years ago I had been so happy to be giving Jordon his first son. I knew if nothing else could bring the two of us closer, the birth of our beautiful baby boy could. What man wouldn’t love the woman that was giving him his only child…his son?

     Jordon didn’t even show up the day I was released with J.J from the hospital. I tried to reach him on the phone to let him know we were on our way home. I called the house…his cell and job, there was no answer. Then I had to stoop as low as to call around to his friends homes, and still no one seemed to know where Jordon could.

     J.J and I arrived home safely and like a fool I went in thinking Jordon had planned a special welcome home surprise party for me and his new son. Needless to say I had big ass fool written across my face.

      It had gotten very late and I still hadn’t heard from Jordon. I left him another voice message letting him know J.J and I had made it home safely, then I decided to call my friend Nadia and have her bring Micolas home. She had been watching him for me while I was in the hospital.  I knew Micolas would want to be home with me and his new baby brother. 

      Nadia and I had formed a friendship through our sons. We both had a lot in common, neither one of us cared that much for living in Fayetteville NC, but we wanted to be close to our military men. Our children had become very close friends. Nadia was half black and half Asian, that had married a black man. I knew the first time I met Craig he was no good, he was that sneaky-freaky type I called it. Nadia was good people, but that damn Craig she should have ran before he caught whiff of her ass.

     Nadia did everything she thought would please Craig.  Hell, she would have washed his ass if he told her to. She was a very pretty woman, very petite and very humble around him. That was the Nadia she wanted Craig to see, when he was not around she would let her hair down and it was just like talking to my home girls. We had some good times. She had my back and I had hers. That was just how we military families were; we  looked out for our own.

     The night I got home from the hospital with J.J my feet were still swollen with edema, and I could barely walk. Nadia didn’t waste anytime she prepped up the house so most of little J.J's things were within my reach. She had even made my favorite dish…well at least tried to make it. The girl couldn’t cook worth a shit, but I was starved and thankful Micolas at least had something to eat.  Hours after Nadia had left I began feeling a little better. I wanted to spend some time with both boys together before bedtime. Micolas came into my bed and crawled up next to me and lil J.J. What happened next changed my life forever. I remember him looking at me with his big brown eyes and asked 'momma is it ok for friends to sleep in the same bed?' I didn’t know why he would ask a question like that. I just replied. Sometimes baby, but it’s best to always sleep in your own bed. He looked like he really didn’t understand something, but he accepted what I was saying anyway.  I was kind of glad because Micolas was the type of child and still is that could ask a thousand questions. And I was just too tired at that time to answer all of them. I thought I had at least answered his questions to his satisfaction. Before he left the room he turned and looked at me with those big brown eyes and asked, 'momma why you and Uncle Craig don’t sleep in the same bed?.' I really didn't feel like any more questions but I explained to him the difference. Then he looked at me and smiled and said momma you need to tell Aunt Nadia and daddy Jordon that because they sleep in bed together all the time.